Yes, I am special, special to myself, Is what I do when I wake up every day.
“How I feel about myself is more important than how I look.”
Somewhere, Indian parents never had a habit to tell their child “ you are special “ or rather we are happy in whatever you are doing. It mostly ends up comparing the child either with their sibling or to the other peers of their age or above. Maybe, its good to set a benchmark but if constantly keep expressing their displeasure or unhappiness for their poor performance, it will break and not build their self- confidence.
“Believe in yourself a little more.”
We majorly lack in expressing our thought process, rather we find it difficult to find anyone around us to express it which slowly leads us to be silent. Not to treated as accessories as an object to show off in social circles. By setting unrealistic goals, they tend to exploit and bring disappointment for themselves and ruin the lives. Should be treated with respect as independent individuals and need to be loved and understood.
When I was in school I could still remember there was a jealousy, there was a hatred between the classmates which we cannot show to the society. While we were learning moral science in school simultaneously we have also learn to be competitive enough, when we were taught to share our things we were also taught don't share your notes as other may get better marks.
Mostly, parents have always pressurized their student to be better than the others as it makes them proud rather than understanding their children uniqueness.
“There’s no need to be perfect to inspire others. Let others get inspired by how you deal with your imperfections.”
After, all the hassle comes the time to choose Science and commerce where again the parents take the decision of choosing their stream without judging probably what interests their child, because the child is cannot be any less than their sibling or society, not considering the fact the child is no more a child now, none ask their interest or choices.
It always the matter of “comparison” that being heard all throughout, we were never appreciated of our qualities we were always taught to be someone else to be like someone else in life and not like ourselves.
A little personal information, I am being the lower mediocre student was never considered for any competition, it was just like you are good for nothing so there were never peer pressure on me - just go with the flow, I still don't know whether it was a blessing or a boon.
Many, of us face a behavioral problem sometimes as an adult we might think we should go to a psychiatrist but no one considers why it has happened one of the major thing being repeated comparison and insecurity which we cannot admit but somewhere we eternally know which tends to distance us from others.
Suppression of our thoughts, suppression of our talents may eventually lose everything which we might be good at. We blame time but is it really the time did anyone ever tried to know what we are interested into what we like to do or we have dumped it over the years?
Every one is different, so we should value them for who they are created to be. Words have a powerful way of shaping our self-image, therefore words used positively can be a miracle tool. Rather than pointing out what they do not have, make the effort to compliment them on their positive traits, like their kindness, determination or creativity.
Stress & Conflict:
A phase where we are into colleges probably a little more conscious with our career, a crush on someone or a newly found love.
Love is undoubtedly one of the most beautiful feelings in the world. Ideally speaking, it is involuntary, gratifying, and rewarding.
As individuals, we often tend to have a basic idea about the kind of partner that we would like to be with. Some wish for a person who is athletic, some want an individual who is intellectually very sound, while some simply desire an understanding and jovial partner. That said, we not only are at least mildly aware of the kind of person we want to romance; once we do find that somebody, we continue to pitch their strengths, and primarily their drawbacks against those around us. In simple words, it is called “comparing your partner”. While it would be great if we appreciated the person we’re with by drawing positive comparisons, what majority of us do is its exact opposite.
There is no limit to the number of factors upon which comparisons can be drawn. The basis on which we compare our partner to another being may vary from person to person. However, some prime factors serving as reasons for comparison have been identified below:
Physical Appearance
Family Background and Socio-Economic Status
Educational Background
Personality Type
Popularity Quotient
Romantic Equation of another Couple
When comparing your partner to someone else’s could be a key source of stress and conflict, which is why it is important that we view our partners and ourselves as one single unit.
In real life many a time we have noticed we generally don't appreciate our partner who in spite of all the hassle makes time for us. Rather, we end up comparing them with others, what we tend to forget is not all people are same neither all have same life style nor working life.
When people walk away from you, let them go.
As much as I would advise self-reflection to those who wish to discover more of themselves, in this case it would mean for you to remember your own flaws and how you are living with them. Nobody is perfect, and so the way we accept and love ourselves, we must do the same when it comes to our partners as well.
We all have certain characteristics that contribute towards our uniqueness, and make us different from those around us. Likewise, every being has their own way of both loving, and showing love.
“In order to love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you.”
